Tips for Sharing Your Fertility Journey
No matter what your situation or experience, it can be terrifying saying it out loud. I think it's often because saying or writing something can suddenly make your experience feel very real, like there's no taking it back. There's also a layer of uncertainty when being vulnerable not knowing how others will react. So many of you want to open up to friends and family about what you've been going through, but the fear of sharing along with the fear of unwanted questions/ & advice, plus meeting their future expectations about sharing, often stop you.
Tips for Sharing Your Fertility Journey
Something I've been asked many times is "did you share your fertility struggles with those around you?". For me, it wasn't that straightforward. In the beginning, I shared with a select few. Those I knew I could trust and didn't want to keep anything from. There were times I honestly regretted telling anyone though. Mostly because I felt like some people expected live IVF updates, but I wasn't always ready to share those updates. I tend to like having time to process stuff. There were also IVF cycles I kept hidden because of this. It felt like pressure was taken off because no one needed updates and all conversations didn't revolve around treatments. Those cycles were lonelier though...
There's really no right or wrong thing to do when it comes to opening up about something you're struggling with. I do believe it's important to have someone to talk to, but this doesn't always mean someone in your immediate life. Every family and situation is different. There are definitely different ways and outlets to share your fertility journey.
How to share your fertility journey?
Write it down
Tell friends and family
Share with a therapist or mental health professional
Create a social media account to connect with others
Tips I recommend when it comes to sharing your fertility journey:
1. Only share what you're comfortable sharing
2. Establish boundaries (e.g., "Just because I'm talking about it now doesn't mean I'll be sharing updates every time something happens, I'll tell you when I'm ready".)
3. Only share with people you're comfortable with
4. Let people know what you need because no one can read your mind and most won't immediately know how to correctly support you
Some important notes:
1. You don't have to share with people you don't trust
2. You aren't obligated to continue sharing
3. You don't need to share with people who try to continuously one-up you
4. You don't have to share with people who have a track record of offering unsolicited advice/criticism
It took me a while to feel comfortable sharing. It came with so many emotions until one day, I decided to just go for it. Sharing my story felt like a weight was lifted. I knew it could help with healing and could also help normalize what so many others were going through.
Whether you're openly talking about your fertility journey or silently struggling, I'm proud of you either way. None of this is easy or simple. You have to do what's right for you. I know it can take time to get to this place, and it's completely okay to not want to share your struggles or experiences too.
Just know that you aren't alone.
If you’re someone wondering how to support a friend or loved one struggling with infertility, here are some helpful tips.
Medical Disclaimer:
The information provided in this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider or qualified medical professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this blog.
